When we are planning our travels each year, we really try to plan for a mix of traveling by ourselves and traveling with friends or family. We love being able to spend dedicated time with our kids, and it really allows for Stella & Michael’s sibling relationship to grow. But there is also something really special about having our family or friends join in on trips. It builds lasting memories that we know will last a lifetime. However, we have learned that traveling with family and friends requires additional considerations in order to make the trip successful.

If you are thinking of planning a trip with friends or family, here are some items to think through:

Budget

I know this one seems like a no brainer, but this is really one of the first considerations and where a lot of group trips can fizzle fast. Lodging is really the biggest discussion point, but it is important to think outside of just the initial cost of the trip. If you plan to do excursions, meals, etc during your trip, budget could affect your plans if you want to do activities as a group. Before you approach someone, really think about what you know of them (and their past trips) to think through if it aligns with your travel style, priorities and the cost implications.

Travel type

Everyone has different ideas of what vacation means. Some want to relax and sit by a pool or beach, others want to explore and have adventure. It is also helpful to discuss if you are early risers or night owls as that may affect plans. This is especially important if you are considering Disney parks, where early risers and planners thrive. It is helpful to find travel companions that are looking for the same type of vacation you are seeking.

Parenting style

This often isn’t thought of, but it can really impact the vibe of your trip quickly. We tend to think of parenting style in three ways:

• Expectations of Kids: If you are traveling with groups of kids, it is really important you recognize each other’s parenting style as it will likely affect you. If other kids in your group are able to act a different way than you typically allow for your kids, then it is highly likely your kids will want to mimic that behavior. This goes for simple things like boundaries for eating (ice cream for breakfast!), buying items, use of electronics throughout the day (especially at dinner), and nap & bedtime, etc. Find someone who can meet you in the middle so that all the kids can have similar expectations. I love a parent friend that will rally all the kids for group sunscreen application or aligns on times to wrap up activities as a group, especially swimming.
• Attentiveness: Another important element is to recognize the other parent’s level of attentiveness. You do not want to feel like you are stuck watching someone else’s kids on vacation. And if there isn’t a good balance between the other couple, you can end up feeling guilty and pressured to help more than you would like. If you want to do some trading off so each couple can have private time, it is important you have someone with those same expectations and they are mindful of equally trading off time watching kids. 
• Safety: Finally, find someone that you trust to keep your kids safe. Especially when it comes to water activities, I am very sensitive to who I let watch my kids. I want to make sure they are actively watching. Ryan and I communicate very clearly so we know who is on point with the kids at each moment so that adult knows it is their responsibility. We have had multiple scary moments with our kids in the water, and each time there was an adult that was able to quickly react because they were paying attention. We also do not get sensitive when adults tell our kids no, especially if they are doing something unsafe or disrespectful. This isn’t the case with everyone. 

Drinking & Drug Habits

Find someone that has the same habits as you as it relates to drinking or drug use. This is true for vacations with kids but also adult only trips. This can really ruin a vacation if you are mismatched. Ryan and I personally don’t drink much when we travel with our kids, especially if there are safety considerations like water activities or unknown environments where we want to be aware of our surroundings. If one of us does want to have more than a drink or two, the other one will usually stay sober. I’ve been in a situation where a member of our group was drunk and wanting to hold a baby in our group, and it made for an uncomfortable situation. This isn’t to say people can’t have fun! Just make sure it is a match with what you feel comfortable with. 

Kid Connection

If you are traveling with different groups of children, obviously it is really helpful if you know they will get along, but there are a couple other helpful considerations. Age can impact their ability to do things together, especially if kids clubs are involved. Make sure you look at what the age ranges are and if they will be able to stay together. This can also affect activities like the ability to do excursions, height limits for rides or slides, etc. I have also found that while kids can seem like they get along, behaviors can shift when they are together for a long period. Make sure you stay tuned-in if certain kids need more space than others or if there could be situations of kids feeling left out. We try to get ahead of this and make our kids aware of these potentials before the trip. 

Trip Type

When it comes to traveling with a group, some trip types are better than others. Cruises or all-inclusive resorts are a great option as they don’t require a lot of planning and everyone is able to chose their own activity throughout the day, especially older kids. It is easy for the group to gather for dinner and nighttime shows. Multi-city trips or roadtrips can be much harder as it requires a larger amount of planning and managing everyone being on the same schedules during the day. Disney parks is often top of mind for large family trips, and while it is possible, it can be really tough. There is a lot of planning with Disney parks, budget differences play a huge factor, as well differing ability to walk long distances and ride preferences.  

Tips for considering group travel

• Set expectations ahead of time in terms of how often you want to spend time together
• Talk about what your priorities are when it comes to money. Are you a foodie that wants nice restaurants? Do you want private or group excursions? Does your family want to spend time shopping? 
• Meaningfully decide room proximity, especially if you have kids. If you are sharing a space or have adjourning rooms, make sure you align on boundaries ahead of time and communicate with your kids. Even when traveling with grandparents, we do not let our kids enter their rooms without knocking and asking permission. 
• Discuss what kind of pace you are looking for on your vacation
• Discuss ahead of time if you want to trade off watching kids to allow for date nights